Like an auntie… but I’ll actually keep your secrets.
Brown Women, The Mother Wound, and Finally Feeling Heard
You’re the one who holds it all together. You answer the phone when your mum calls. You show up to every family function with a smile. You got the degree, the job, the life everyone said you should want. On paper, you’re thriving, so why do you feel like you’re quietly coming undone?
Maybe you grew up in a home where love came with conditions. Where your feelings were “too much,” your tears were called drama, and “what will people say” ran the whole house. You learned early how to read the room, shrink yourself, and perform being okay so nobody had to worry about you. Years later, you’re exhausted from being everyone’s safe place while never quite having one of your own.
That ache you can’t fully name? It’s the longing to feel truly seen by the woman who raised you, and the quiet grief over the closeness you needed but didn’t get. It doesn’t mean your mother didn’t love you. More often, it means she gave you everything she had, while never receiving what she needed. Wanting to heal this isn’t a betrayal of your family. It’s where a cycle starts to break.
That’s where I come in: like an auntie, minus the drama. Warm, a little bit nosy in the best way, fully on your side, but I keep your secrets. Nothing goes back to the family WhatsApp. And I will never tell you to “just pray about it,” lose weight, or hurry up and get married.
Does any of this feel familiar?
- Anxiety that lives in your chest, racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, a constant low hum that you’ve forgotten something or let someone down.
- People-pleasing on a loop, you say yes when you mean no, resent it, then feel guilty for resenting it.
- Feeling unseen, like no one in your family knows the real you, only the version that keeps the peace.
- Going from fine to flooded in seconds, snapping at the people closest to you, then drowning in shame afterward.
- A “never enough” voice, no achievement quiets it; you hit the goal and immediately move the line.
- Second-guessing every decision, needing reassurance, fearing you’ll disappoint everyone if you choose wrong.
- Boundary guilt, the thought of saying no to your mum or your family feels like a personal failing.
- Carrying everyone, you’re the family translator, mediator, emotional support, and designated “strong one,” and you’re tired.
- Living between two worlds, who you are at home versus with friends or at work, and the quiet exhaustion of code-switching all day.
- A flat, low-level sadness, achieving, smiling, going through the motions, and privately wondering, is this it?
If you read that list and felt seen, you’re not broken and you’re not “too sensitive.” You’re someone who has been coping in the only ways you were taught, and you’re allowed to want more than coping.
How therapy actually helps, not just talking in circles
Therapy gives you one room where you don’t have to manage anyone else’s feelings, translate yourself, or earn your right to take up space. It’s a place to put down the performance and ask the questions you’ve never been allowed to ask out loud: Who am I underneath all this? What do I actually want? Am I allowed to want it?
You don’t have to choose between honouring where you come from and building a life that fits who you are. We can hold both. Together we make sense of your story with compassion, for you, and yes, even for the people who hurt you, so the past stops quietly running your present.
What if you could finally exhale?
- Understanding the mother wound: make sense of your upbringing with real compassion, so old patterns stop steering today’s relationships, your confidence, and how you treat yourself.
- Calming the anxiety: practical, body-based tools to settle a racing nervous system and ride emotional waves without getting pulled under.
- Boundaries without the guilt: learn to say no, ask for what you need, and stay connected to your family on your own terms.
- Confidence and self-trust: turn the volume down on the inner critic and start believing your own voice again.
- Untangling culture and self: keep what nourishes you from your heritage, gently set down what doesn’t, and decide for yourself who you want to be.
- A therapist who gets the context: you won’t have to explain why aunties have opinions, why comparison is a love language at home, or why “what will people say” is basically a personality. We can hold the duality that comes with taking care of yourself while managing family, societal, and/or religious beliefs.
Ready to feel heard?
You’ve spent enough years being everyone’s strong one. This is the part where someone holds space for you. Working together, we’ll move from surviving and performing toward feeling genuinely settled, confident, and at home in your own life.
Book a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a fit, no pressure, no commitment, no lecture.
About working with us
At The Heart of Healing Counselling Services you’ll be supported by our amazing team. Therapy is collaborative and tailored to you. Drawing on a range of evidence-based, culturally responsive approaches, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness, family systems, trauma-informed care, somatic (body-based) work, and anti-oppressive, culturally affirming practice. We’ll discuss what actually helps you, rather than a one-size-fits-all formula.
Sessions are often covered, in full or in part, by extended health benefits that include psychotherapy/ mental health treatment. It’s always worth a quick check with your provider, I’m happy to walk you through what to ask.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will my therapist actually get it, being a Brown woman, the family stuff, all of it?
Yes. You won’t have to start by explaining the nuances of your experience unless you want to, why comparison feels like a love language at home, or why “what will people say” runs the show. We work from a culturally responsive, anti-oppressive lens, which means we hold the whole picture, including your family, your culture, and your faith if it’s part of your story, without judgment and without asking you to translate yourself.
Is this really confidential? Will my family find out?
What you share stays between us. That’s the whole point of having one room that’s just yours. As a regulated practice in Ontario, we’re held to strict professional confidentiality standards. There are a few legal limits every therapist has to follow, for example if there’s a serious risk of harm to you or someone else, or concerns about a child’s safety, and we’ll walk you through those clearly at the start. Nothing goes back to the family WhatsApp.
Do I have to choose between my family/culture and myself?
No. This isn’t about “cutting people off” or rejecting where you come from. It’s about untangling what nourishes you from what’s been weighing you down, so you can stay connected to your family on terms that don’t cost you yourself. We hold both. It’s a place to experience new things.
I’ve never done therapy before, and it feels a bit taboo in my community. Is that normal?
Completely normal, and you’re not alone in feeling it. A lot of the women we work with are the first in their family to try therapy, and part of the work is gently undoing the idea that needing support means something is wrong with you. There’s nothing weak about wanting to feel better. You’re allowed to want more than just coping. Therapy also doesn’t have to focus on the negative vs how to move forward.
What kinds of issues do you help with?
We support women navigating anxiety, low confidence and self-doubt, the mother wound and difficult family dynamics, emotional overwhelm and dysregulation, people-pleasing and boundaries, life transitions, and the pressure of living between cultures. If you’re not sure whether what you’re carrying “counts,” it does, and we’re glad to talk it through in a free consult.
Is therapy online or in person?
All of our sessions are virtual, so you can do the work from wherever you feel safest and most yourself. No commute, no waiting room, and no chance of bumping into someone you know on the way in. While Toronto based, we work with clients right across Ontario.
Is online therapy as effective as in person?
For most common concerns, research shows virtual therapy can be just as effective as meeting in person. It also tends to be more convenient and more private, which often makes it easier to show up consistently, and consistency is a big part of what makes therapy work.
Is therapy covered by insurance or benefits?
Often, yes. Many extended health benefit plans in Ontario cover psychotherapy provided by a Registered Social Worker (RSW) or a Registered Psychotherapist (RP). Coverage and amounts vary by plan, and you usually don’t need a doctor’s referral, so it’s always worth a quick check with your provider. We’re happy to tell you exactly what to ask.
Who will I be working with, and are your therapists qualified?
You’ll be supported by a registered, qualified member of our team. The Heart of Healing was founded by Christina Abounassar, MSW, RSW, a licensed counsellor registered with the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (OCSWSSW). Our clinicians practise under Ontario’s professional regulations, so you can feel confident you’re in trained, accountable hands. Megan Sigmundson, RP, is a registered psychotherapist registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO).
What’s the difference between a social worker, a psychotherapist, and a psychologist in Ontario?
All three can provide psychotherapy in Ontario, and each is regulated by its own professional college. Registered Social Workers (RSW) are regulated by the OCSWSSW, Registered Psychotherapists (RP) by the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO), and psychologists by the College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario. Psychologists can also provide formal diagnostic assessments. None of these professionals prescribe medication, which is done by physicians and psychiatrists. What matters most for your results is the fit and trust between you and your therapist. In studies, the connection to your therapist has been found to be the number one factor for change.
Do you prescribe medication?
No. Therapists who are social workers, psychotherapists, psychologists don’t prescribe medication, which is handled by your family doctor, a nurse practitioner, or a psychiatrist. If medication ever seems worth exploring, we’re happy to coordinate with your doctor so everyone is working from the same page.
What actually happens in the free 15-minute consult?
It’s a relaxed, no-pressure conversation. You tell us a little about what’s bringing you in, we tell you how we work, and you get to feel out whether it’s a fit. No commitment, no obligation, and absolutely no lecture.
What should I expect in my first session?
Your first full session is mostly about getting to know you. We’ll talk about what brought you in, what you’re hoping for, and a bit of your history at whatever pace feels comfortable. There’s nothing you need to prepare, and you never have to share more than you’re ready to.
How long will I be in therapy?
There’s no fixed timeline. Some people come for a specific challenge and feel steadier in a handful of sessions; others stay longer to do deeper work on patterns that run back through their upbringing. We’ll figure out a pace together and check in regularly, and you’re always in the driver’s seat.
What kind of therapy approaches do you use?
We have training in many evidence-based treatment approaches, and we’ll work with you to figure out what fits best rather than forcing a one-size-fits-all formula. These include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), emotionally focused therapy (EFT), emotionally focused family therapy (EFFT), emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT), accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and more.
What if I don’t feel a connection with my therapist?
That’s okay, and it’s actually important. The relationship is one of the biggest predictors of whether therapy helps, so if it doesn’t feel right, tell us. We’ll help you find a better fit, either with someone else on the team or by pointing you in the right direction. No hard feelings, ever.
When are appointments?
We have a variety of times available on evenings, weekends, even early mornings, so that we can work with you and your schedule.
How do I get started?
Easy. Book a free 15-minute consultation, or reach out by phone or email. From there, we’ll find a time that works and take it from there. The hardest part is reaching out, and we’ll handle the rest together.
Contact us
Take the first step towards a better life today.